*I know.*

I need to be honest about something right now. I have to admit to you, in case I have not yet, that I understand much of the appeal of these websites. I understand the desire to belong when you feel no one understands. I understand the pressure to fit in. I also feel anxiety and confusion when I see others who are skinnier than I am or prettier than I am or happier than I am or whatever it is that day…I understand the feeling of thinking ‘I just need to lose a little more and then I’ll be happy…but not now, now I don’t deserve to be happy.”

I don’t understand celebrating those feelings. I don’t understand making others feel that way. Those people you are encouraging to hurt themselves are REAL PEOPLE. Imagine reading the posts people write and it is your little sister saying it to you, or your best friend. Would you let them feel that way?

I need to be honest about another thing. Though I am a very upfront and confrontational person (come on now, I’m a PR student), I have trouble facing major issues and letting other people in on them as well. It’s kind of like how I can sing in front of an audience of 1,000 with no problem, but to sing in front of a single person is impossible. That’s how the Internet is. We have no problem addressing our fears and our angers and our imperfections here—everyone is faceless. We make up fake usernames and post abstract pictures of ourselves. I understand the solace in remaining anonymous.

In all honesty, I haven’t even told my best friend that I have this blog. I am scared to. I can tell the whole world about it in my blog, but I can’t bring myself to pick up the phone and tell her. That would be singing to a single person, it’s too hard, too scary, and your gonna feel and see every one of their reactions. And then you have to answer to them.

So, I am working on the whole courage thing. I’ll tell her when she’s ready and when I am ready. But, in all honesty, I am scared. I am scared that I am writing every post with her in mind but I am not taking the right steps with her personally. I found this poem on another anti-pro-ana website and it really made me think about her.

“I need more time to find the real me… To fly like the birds…to be set free. Why couldn’t I stop until I had died? It was hate for myself hidden inside.”

Please, I am asking all of you reading; do not let it get to this point. Do not let these websites allow them to get to this point.

*EDNOS*

I want to remind everyone of a fact that is essential to be aware of in considering these websites—many of these individuals do not have clinical eating disorders. While a great amount of them, as previously discussed, are hoping to attain an eating disorder (impossible) in hopes of losing weight, many more are effected by other mental disorders. These other disorders, such as bipolar disorder, depression, COD, effect eating habits and mental though processes and perception. These alternative disorders are called EDNOS, for eating disorders not otherwise specified. As explained on the site Ana Does Not Love You, this is means that these are a category of mental disorders that involve disordered eating patterns. The following video illustrates an example of how a disorder, in this case OCD, can result in habits similar to those of one with an ed.

Both the media and pro-ana/mia websites play into these vulnerabilities and play to these individuals’ disorders, as they seem to allow control, escape and alternative personas to be created. These disorders are especially dangerous because they do not warrant definite medical care or personal attention. While the disorders themselves are often medicated or treated otherwise, the side effects such as eating and exercise habits, are often disregarded or overlooked. Individuals with one or more of the above disorders are especially susceptible to pro-ana websites. The websites often include pages with information on EDNOS, creating a sense of “community” and legitimizing the site as authoritative. The information, as you can see from this website, is presented in a very non-biased and honest way. It appears to be legitimate and straight-forward; however to me it seems to be a simple hidden agenda. The inclusion an EDNOS page acts as a sort of invitation for individuals who suffer from them. Those with depression or OCD feel that though they are not directly related to those with ed’s, they are now accepted and welcomed by them. The following video exemplifies how someone with an EDNOS feels more comfortable identifying with an eating disorder than with a series of other disorders.

I hope that this gets my point across; these websites are specifically targeting various groups of individuals—those who want to be skinny, those who have mental and personality disorders, and those who have eating disorders, are all among the major publics targeted by the creators and supporters of these websites. They are simply luring you into the lion’s den. Will you willingly follow?

*Laws Against Pro-Ana? C'est possible?*

In an LA times article written last spring by Geraldine Baum, the possibility of making pro-ana actions illegal was debated.

“Blogs, websites and ads that induce ‘excessive thinness’ could bring down fines and jail time on their makers if the Senate passes pending legislation. Judges would make the call….“Too thin” may soon be defined in France by judges who would be asked to enforce new legislation aimed at websites, blogs and fashion advertising that encourage eating disorders among girls.”

The bill was passed a few weeks later. Though it was heavily debated, the defining decision factor was the way in which the websites advise individuals on how to lie to their doctors, suggest the easiest foods to vomit, and encourage one another to torture themselves.

Some feel that this type of law is prejudice against a disease, I believe this is an entirely inaccurate claim. The idea behind the creation of this law is to discourage the PROMOTION and GLAMORIZATION of eating disorders and unobtainable images to the mass public. Unfortunately, I do not think this would pass so well in the US. One would think that these types of writings do not apply as freedom of speech or expression, yet they do. I never realized how fine a line it was between a making a death threat and asking for one until I began dealing with pro-ana sites. Furthermore, it is difficult to find substantial evidence that these websites are causing deaths. In an interview Baum conducts with Susan Scafidi, an expert in fashion law and professor at Fordham Law School, Scafidi points out the following dilemma:

“We do ban advertising of smoking in the U.S. and we take smoking into consideration for movie ratings,” she noted. “But we know there is a clear link between smoking and lung cancer. No one has yet established a connection between images in magazines and skinny girls.”

I just don’t know about that. After reading statistics on blogs about media's effects on society and the behind the scenes of it all, not to mention through my own research posted throughout my blog I find it rather hard to believe that this is true.

*Playing in the Lion's Den*

I was reading a friend’s blog that details media’s obsession with thin models. The interesting twist on her blog topic, however, is that its focus is not on the use of thin models, but on the use of average sized models who are photoshopped into oiled up toothpicks.

I was fascinated by some of the statistics posted on her blog. For instance, a research study was conducted in which three ads were displayed (targeting women), and each product being advertising was shown in two different ads—one with an average sized model and the next as a thinspirational model. Long story short, the study proved that the image of the average sized model left women feeling happier and better about themselves.

I feel this information is an important component to my cause. There are countless individuals torturing themselves to attain an image that is simply unattainable. It will not happen. It cannot happen.

This information also shows how vulnerable today’s society is to media. Not only are we heavily influenced (emotionally, mentally, and, in extreme cases, physically) by what we see in stores, fashion, magazines, television, movies and advertisements, but now we are encouraged to take it one step beyond being influenced and actually take action. We are being lured into the lion’s den…a dangerous arena allowing people to succumb to their darkest thoughts and physical nightmares.

I use to brush these impossible images off, considering them unrealistic, but websites such as pro-ana sites have legitimized these images. Pro-ana sites make their users think that it is not just photoshop, but a real person who you can become, all you need to do is recite the Ana Creed or try their diet tricks. They make it seem as if the impossible is a realistic alternative. It is not. It is not real—but what you are subjecting yourselves to…that is very, very real.

*Changing up the Change Agent*

After writing my last post, I got a pretty good idea for how to put a little spin on my message to Tyra. Not only am I going to propose a topic for her show, but I am going to propose an actual person she should feature on her show. Cori Magnotta, who has been mentioned numerous times in my blog, would be an excellent change agent. I have decided to combine these two highly inspirational women into one super change agent. Here is a clip of Tyra tackling negative body images not only for the general population...but for girls between the ages of 5 and 14. That's right, 5 year-old-girls talking about how fat they are. This is something Tyra is very passionate about, so why is she overlooking one of the most influencial sources?

Tyra, with her talk show and highly public image, has a great runway for getting an important issue heard. Cori, with her compelling and brutally honest story, has the passion and life experience to lead eating disorder sufferers in a direction towards recovery. Cori has already taken many steps to get herself heard, many of which have been focused on my blog, but the idea of her and Tyra teaming is foolproof and fail proof.

Tyra's doin good...but another suggestion couldn't hurt

I’ve been thinking about my change agent…yes, again. I am actually pretty surprised that I have still heard nothing back from Tyra! Well, one of her producers or even an intern at least. I did some research of the Tyra show and I found that apparently one of her favorite things to do is put herself in other peoples shoes—her most memorable example of this is the episode in which she donned a fat suit to see what a day in that life was like.

This write up of the article explains the interesting parallel that while Americans are increasingly obese, “the ideal body image is getting steadily thinner.” One of the major inspirations for this episode was the idea that it is TV that sets our standards. The show write-up explains, “Only one in 300 female characters is obese. In real life, one in 4 women is either overweight or obese. Reality TV is no help, 9 out of 10 women on these shows are thin. Out here in the real world, only 5 out of 10 can make that claim." Is it possible that ideals such as these are a little disheartening? What is with this type of portrayal? Why are producers, writers, and casting directors constantly feeding us these images and stereotypes? Why are we as consumers allowing them to? How far are we going to allow this to go?

We have people, possibly our friends and family, logging onto pro-ana websites and literally killing themselves and encouraging others to do the same. We sit and watch as these people wither away, yet we still support the idea that thin is beautiful, and nothing more is. I just don’t understand what we are waiting for. Perhaps eating disorders are not enough of an instant disease for us to notice it happening all around us. True, no one is spontaneously combusting in the seat next to us, but these people are dying, slowly and painfully and so, so lonely. It is time to stop putting these images in their faces. So, thank you, Tyra, for finally taking a stance and putting something new out there for us to tune into. Now, perhaps you should read a certain letter giving you new show material from a certain Chapman University student :)

Dear Tyra

Everyday I look at these websites and I see the pain and sadness in each of the comments written by those suffering from eating disorders. It breaks my heart to see them desperatly searching for an outlet and someone to listen and help them. I want so badly to let them know that there are other ways! I want to badly for this site to become a place for those with eds and their family and friends to help one another through the difficult recovery period. I felt like I needed a little help in my journey, so I wrote a letter for support to someone who I think has the power to make a difference. Here is the letter I sent:

Dear Tyra,

I am reaching out to you in the hopes that you can help me make a difference. You serve as a true inspiration and promote the beautiful idea of self acceptance and a healthy beauty. Because of your role, I am hoping that you will be able to help me in my journey.

There is a huge problem today. You may or may not be aware of it, but countless individuals are helping one another in acts of assisted suicide everyday and using the Internet as a medium to do so. These individuals are logging on to what are called pro-ana and pro-mia sites. These websites are tortuous and sick. They promote self-loathing and celebrate and enforce eating disorders. The sites are full of diet tips and tricks, chat forums for encouraging one another to starve themselves and purge any excess calories, and ‘thinspiration’ pages, complete with pictures of emaciated models and images to encourage each other to enable their eating disorders. My issue with these websites is not that they are a forum for those with ED’s to support and communicate with one another, but that they are being used to encourage the continuance of the disease.

Individuals with eating disorders have a true psychological turmoil. Their way of thinking is contaminated in such a self-destructive way that these websites easily suck them in and convince individuals who may have a chance at recovery to instead succumb to their disorder. The existence of these sites is especially heartbreaking to me as I have had first hand experience with someone who cannot control her disorder. My best childhood friend, my sister, has an been clinically diagnosed with anorexia-nervosa. My best friend who was once so full of character and light is now dull and broken. She is sick. Her body is starving and her mind and spirit are dying. Because her mind is psychologically sick, she is unable to convince herself that she needs help and that she needs nourishment. Websites such as pro-ana and pro-mia sites have the ability to trick her already disabled thought process into thinking that her disease is a ‘norm’ and that not eating makes her a stronger person. These websites do nothing but put people down and make them feel worthless. By encouraging one another that they are worthless, each person feels better and more secure with knowing he or she is not the only one who is not in control of the disease.

I am coming to you, Tyra, because of the power and influence you have as an inspiration and a public role model. These websites must be stopped and replaced with real forums for those trying to recover. These websites must be destroyed and replaced by websites allowing friends, family, and ED sufferers to get support from each other through the difficult and painful recovery process. While I am doing all I can in my power to put a stop to these, it is publicity and public awareness that is needed to truly make a difference. I believe that this is something you will feel passionate about, and I hope with all of my heart that you will help me make a difference for the individuals living every day in disease and pain. I believe that you have the power to help me bring light and life back into the lives of these individuals.

Thank you,

Maria